Welcome to week 2 of our book study! This week we are discussing Chapter 3 (The Power of Joy) and Chapter 5 (When Did A Hug Become A Bad Thing?) Gwen Simmons is our guest content expert this week to provide insight and lead our discussion. Communicate with Gwen on Twitter @gwen_naeyc. If you are just joining us, you will find all the book study details HERE.
It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. – Albert Einstein
Playfulness, humor, joy, and the celebration of learning are the real “basics” that should abound in any environment where children spend their time. – Mimi Brodsky Chenfeld
“What do Albert Einstein and Mimi Brodsky Chenfeld have in common? A belief that teachers who embrace creativity and joy in their teaching inspire children to discover, question, explore the world in deep and meaningful ways.
The recipe for this approach to teaching is both simple and complex. First take one teacher who creates a learning environment based on deep learning (think Reggio or the Project Approach), frequently uses the phrases “what else” and “what if”, add a full cup of joy, excitement and wonder, fold it into a bowl of developmentally appropriate practice and appropriate assessment. It may sound simple, but it can be challenging to achieve within the current context of high stakes testing and parent pressure based on misinformation.
Teachers today must take a “both/and” approach by blending current brain research (watch the YouTube video by Dr. Allan Schore, renowned neurobiologist, on Joy and Fun), standards and appropriate assessment (read NAEYC’s Common Core Standards Initiative), and developmentally appropriate practice. As Mimi wrote in “Teaching in the Key of Life”, “Our children need an environment sweetened with tender loving care, encouragement, inspiration, role models, and time-time to play, pretend, explore, experiment, and wonder; time to develop at their own pace and in their own special rhythms. When children learn in such safe, supportive settings under the gentle, constant guidance of loving adults, they prove over and over again that they are among the most creative members of this gifted and talented human family of ours”.
Rae suggests teachers incorporate humor into their teaching practice, and to employ Steven Wolk’s suggestions from his article, “Joy in School”. I believe teachers are some of the most powerful advocates for this “both/and” approach with parents, policymakers, and school administrators. Their ability to describe their practice – what they are doing, why they are doing it, and what the expected outcomes will be – is critically important. Teachers who are consciously competent can change the world one child at a time.
THOUGHT QUESTION: How have you advocated for high standards, appropriate assessment and a creative, joyous learning environment?
Reading Rae’s chapter, “When Did a Hug Become a Bad Thing” and the challenges male teachers of young children face, it took me back to my administrative days. I promoted a young man from my staff to the lead teacher position in a mixed-age infant room. A young family had just enrolled their three month baby girl and we placed her in his room. As was my practice, I arranged for these new parents to join me for an early conversation to better understand their expectations and ours. From the first meeting I could sense that Eric and April were uneasy. Eric was struggling with having his daughter in the care of a male teacher (Dave) and was uncomfortable with him holding or changing her.
We embraced developmentally appropriate practice and were committed to building reciprocal relationships and interactions with children and their families. To provide the quality of care, support, and a relationship based environment, it would be impossible for Dave to set unnatural parameters of a “no touch” policy with one of the children in his care.
Setting clear “touch” policies, providing consistent, research-based information for families and staff, and having a commitment to building relationships gave us a strong foundation and allowed us to navigate these sensitive waters with this particular family. As Dave and I worked closely with this family, I did my best to support Dave. I had never given much thought to the challenges that men face when choosing to devote their professional life to working with young children, but I quickly realized that Dave was going to need as much support as this family. He shared similar challenges at other programs and was worried that he might have to the leave the field, despite his deep passion for young children and their families. I had previously worked with a male kindergarten teacher in the same community and quickly connected Dave to him for peer support.
At the time, I was unaware of the NAEYC Men in Education (M.E.N.) Interest Forum. Their mission is to recruit and retain men in early childhood education by communicating the importance of men working with young children and their contributions to the healthy development of children, emphasizing the need for concerted efforts to recruit more men into the field, and encouraging and supporting men already in the field to remain in the profession. Facilitators from this NAEYC Interest Forum authored a Young Children article outlining four guiding principles for programs; banish stereotypes, support a gender diverse workforces, use positive representation of men, and establish gender-neutral policies on teacher child interactions.
Eric and April remained at our program and eventually enrolled another child. Dave continued his work in early childhood, and I was left with a deeper understanding of the complexities of blending “touch” with education. When did a hug become a bad thing? It never has been, in my mind.” Learn more about NAEYC’s Interest Forums
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Please share/retweet this post! We’d love to hear from you about your thoughts regarding Chapters 3 and 5 and/or about Gwen’s commentary. Your voice matters – participate in the dialogue and share your ideas here! (Comment below) If you’ve chosen to blog about what you’ve read on your own site, link back and share your post with us here. Perhaps you have a burning question about something that you read in one of these chapters… we have a feature for that – Ask The Author! That’s right, Rae Pica will be available throughout this live study to answer your questions. #AskAuthor
*If you’re a MN participant and are seeking training hours for your active participation in this book study, please visit THIS LINK for the details and requirements.
What to read next: Chapter 4- Bubble Wrapping Not Required (9/14/15).
These comments I wrote on my blog when I read Chapter 5–
“As a male teacher with young kids, this particular issue is very real. The few times I have been in a room with a child alone, the door is always open and we are always in full view. I will hug a kid, if he or she initiates it, but it’s quick. I often give high fives, fist bumps, and a quick pat on the back. In my second grade class, the kids left at the end of the day by giving me a fist bump as they left. It was our last ritual and our way of contact. And it helped us regroup and connect, no matter how the day had gone.”
This is something I must keep in mind as I interact with kids. That said, an upset crying child needs comforting and I will not hesitate to comfort as needed.
As a young early childhood program director I had a similar experience to the one described in the above blog post, so I know the reality of the issue. With that said I still find it to be frustrating that the issue, particularly for men, exists because of stereotyping a group of people and fear. Should it not be enough when a program has done their due diligence with background checks etc and maintains appropriate safety policies? A hug is a hug and I would hate for any child to miss out on that for even one day.
I look forward to more discussion.
Scott,
I so appreciate your comments and perspective. I learned so much working with this family and Dave. Does your school have actual policies regarding “touch”?
Gwen, We didn’t have a specific “no touch” policy. But, when I taught first grade, the principal (also a guy) made a point to tell me to keep the door open, especially when 1-on-1 with a child.
The article that I referenced from Young Children outlines excellent strategies to address workforce gender disparities. Because the ECE field is predominantly female, I believe many simply do not take these issues into account. I know I didn’t until it was staring me in the face.
Thank you Gwen for your commentary – when I first saw the title of the chapter my immediate response was Geez louise – Im a Minnesotan we don’t hug anyway!! Well at least this Minnesotan has a big bubble 🙂
That aside the ideas in the young Child article are things that I use in my college courses frequently, the problem there is that we run 30 gals to one guy so the students often wonder why the discussion. I notice that even in class they treat the one guy differently. My reflection on that is then this is where we need to start with gender disparity in Early care and education. These fresh students need to see the importance and spread the word. This conversation also takes on a journey to how we treat Mamas versus papas- do we as teachers have similar expectations? Invariably I see a different attitude in how the student approaches a male versus a female. So much to learn
Thank you Scott for your comments. I was interested in Cry’s perspective seeing female and male students and how they relate to each other. I think one thing that can help with the conversations around gender differences in college classes especially is to talk about the need for multiple ways to nurture children. Hugs are important from all teachers, but so is big body play. While these two examples of nurturing don’t have to fall down gender lines, I think men are going to probably have more experience with big body play and women are probably going to have more experience with hugging children (or babysitting, etc.). If all students can see how there are many ways to nurture children, they can use each other as resources for the ways that are less familiar to them.
Well said, Mike. Keeping multiple perspectives in mind is an important factor in avoiding inequality.
On target, Mike! Often we can discount the different perspectives and methods that men and women bring. Understanding that can help teachers better work together and, as you said, use each other as resources – not only between genders but among all the different personalities and approaches that arise in groups of teachers.
thank you Gwen so much for the resources:) It is so important that the children we care for know we care whether it’s through a hug, high five, or tag!!
I really enjoyed the chapter on joy and the point that if we are stressed we cannot physically learn, stress hormones actually shut off the parts of the brain that help us focus, understand ideas, memory and reasoning.
That is why self directed activities are so important to learning!
The Finnish study on joy is something I will be sharing with my fellow teachers for sure!
Chapter 5 really made me think about physical touch in my specific work environment (a children’s hospital) in a new way. We talk quite a bit about boundaries in the child life field and I have certainly used the high five and fist bump to avoid hugs or other forms of touch with patients. I have struggled with colleagues (not necessarily child life specialists) who don’t hold the same professional boundaries. I am left feeling feeling cold and uncaring when I don’t make the same level of personal connection with patients as others on the team. I wonder, is a doctor, nurse, or child life specialist engaging in a hug with a child different than a teacher doing so? I realize the importance of physical contact to a child’s development, but I wonder when we cross the line–not in terms of abuse–but in terms of ethics and professionalism. I also think as professionals who care for children and are experts in development we are responsible for supporting families in understanding a child’s need for physical contact at home.
I think this topic is also interesting from a child to child perspective. In the closing bullets of Chapter 5, Rae recommends avoiding rules that discourage students from touching each other. I occasionally work with a patient population struggling with eating disorders whose treatment involves group meals and activities. Often the patients develop close friendships and this sometimes leads to hugging, piggy backs, etc. In the moment, it certainly feels a bit inappropriate to me. But again, I wonder if the nature of this situation (medical setting) changes the need for regulation of touching (i.e. HIPA, vulnerable population/situation).
Again, thanks for the great conversation!
Gwen,
Great story and comments.
Thanks for being such a great ally to the men working with children. It’s the women who support male teachers (like Gwen and other administrators) and write about the importance of men (like Frances Carlson author of book: Book Body Play http://www.naeyc.org/event/big-body-play ) and our co-workers that support our work every day.
By the way, you can connect with us in person(s) at the 2015 NAEYC Conference in Orlando, FL!
Bryan, Rodney, Frances
Co-facilitators NAEYC M.E.N. Interest Forum
I’m often approached by children wanting a hug goodbye while working with them at the hospital. They approach me so fast sometimes that I don’t even have a chance to try to switch it to a high five instead. In those cases I’ll do a quick side hug because the only alternative would be to try to back way and then what message would I be sending to that child? On the other hand, if I initiate the goodbye I will do a high five or fist bump, etc. I think it’s important to return the gesture and provide positive closure for what many times is a stressful or scary situation for them. I am personally a natural affectionate hugger so I do have to consciously check that inclination at work.
As the parent of a child who is big hugger, I have always appreciated teachers who have reciprocated. My daughter always initiated wanting a hug from her teachers at the end of the day throughout preschool and elementary – it was her ritual closure for the day. Some teachers even told her they were going to miss getting them the next year. I’m thankful that she was able to express herself naturally, just as the child who would rather have a high five.
I have truly appreciated reading the many comments regarding Chapter 5 and the need for touch while addressing gender and professional considerations. This definitely sounds like a topic that can and should be explored by individual organizations to really determine how teachers and other professionals can be supported by their administration.
I most loved Chapter 3 about the Power of Joy. Thank you, Gwen, for the resources and supplemental links. I’ve always loved being around others that are joyful and full of energy and passion for what they do. Their excitement is contagious. Why would children be any different? We have an opportunity to model (and should just experience) joy as we work with kids!
In Steven Wolk’s “Joy in School” I appreciated his differentiation between “fun” and “joy” as I could see many parents and administrators assuming when educators and professionals talk about joy as a focus or ideal in their programming, it just means fun activities. But the happiness that comes from satisfying experiences should be what we all want for our kids! It definitely poses a challenge to help kids find the pleasure in learning, take time to tinker and other suggestions to do this in such a test focused learning environment.
Gwen, forgive my tardiness in chiming in. Last week got away from me!
I want to thank you for your thoughtful and resource-filled essay. You’ve made a significant contribution to this book study! Absolutely love the “thought question.”
Mike- perhaps having a male speaker in Early Care and Education come into my class would be helpful?
Cory,
Just let me know when.
Cory, Your comment about having a male speaker certainly caused me to think. I just finished up a degree in education. In my literacy class throughout the last year we have had at least 8 different speakers; all were women. Interesting. And I didn’t even think about that until your comment. (I was 1 of 2 guys in the class.)
I was challenged to put the children’s needs ahead of our fears. It is wonderful to see children enjoy participating with others in the learning process, to be absorbed in what they are doing and working together.
I have been confronted by parents worries when a male is present in their child’s classroom. Yet now I have seen a shift from open doors or doors with windows to closed doors with out windows being locked for building security.
I really enjoyed reading Chapter 3 about the importance of children finding joy in learning. I completely agree that the more engaged children are, the better they will learn. It needs to be fun for them and not a chore. The preschoolers I work with learn a lot of different things without even realizing they are learning. As long as they are having fun, that is what keeps their interest. I also agree that children have too much stress in their lives. It comes from society and all the running that families do now. There is also too much pressure to get preschoolers involved in activities at an early age. Children need routine in their lives and need down time as well. It’s when they don’t get enough down time that they start misbehaving.
Chapter 3 spoke very loudly to me. As a parent of a child who has a disability, I knew that even before he entered school that he was going to have a difficult time with the many transitions, being able to sit for any period of time and any type of group work that might be necessary. At this early age, I did not even consider the academic challenges but just the routine and structure of a kindergarten classroom. Page 17 of our book says “Stress hormones actually turn off parts of our brain that allow us to focus attention, understand ideas, commit information to memory and reason critically”.Pica, R. (n.d.). The power of joy. In What if everybody understood child development?: Straight talk about bettering education and children’s lives. Was it any wonder why my child struggled so incredibly with the educational system? My son is now 20 and graduated from school. I am still learning about how to better teach children and adult learners. I really related to Ed Dunkelblau who said, “humor, laughter, and play are pleasurable experiences that attract and engage students, making it easier to teach. Humor is one of the few educational strategies that does as much for the teacher as it does for the students”. Pica, R. (n.d.). The power of joy. In What if everybody understood child development?: Straight talk about bettering education and children’s lives. As an educator, I do my best to support a positive environment that does include humor. I feel this is beyond important, but rather required for my students to be successful.
Chapter 3 about the Joy of Learning was something I have believed over the years. I can’t wait to share this book with my childcare families. In todays world parents are so worried about their children being left behind they seem to push to much at them to early. So far this book talks about the important parts of play not just here in my home daycare but at their homes also. I found Chapter 5 very eye opening to me here at my home we start children at 6 weeks so touch and being held is very important, as I do it with the younger children the older children also want the hugs, which we give. Thank goodness my families understand that need at this stage of their lives. Many of my families even ask the children if they want to give in hugs hello or goodbye. I feel very blessed to be able to be able to offer this part to my families. I even say in the interview if you don’t want you child hugged don’t bring them here.
http://hqtoddlers.blogspot.com/2016/05/week-two-book-study-what-if-everybody.html
Joy & Hugs. The best parts of my day.
Chapter 3 really caught my attention in this session. I have seen what a difference just acting happy and excited around young children and their desire to listen and learn! In my personal experience, I have sometimes shown up to work in a bad mood and it’s amazing quickly children pick that up. Again, I had to work with some challenging behaviors this past year and it’s amazing how much more smoothly those stressful interactions go when you as the teacher keep your cool and keep negativity out of it. On the other end, I’ve also seen what happens when a teacher starts yelling and gets into a power struggle with a kid and the situation just keeps escalating. I have had to work really hard on trying to stay upbeat and positive, especially with those kids that continually push the envelope. (As I’m sure everybody here can relate to XD)
When it comes to touch my viewpoint has changed based on the age group I work with. When I was working in the Elementary schools I was very aware of how I would interact and touch a student while giving them praise, or saying goodbye. Now that I am working in a center with four and five year olds my views and reactions have changed. To watch a child cry and not comfort them by giving them a hug just seems cruel. I give hugs, high-fives, and even hold hands with some of my students as a way to let them know that I care about what they have to say and am here to listen if they need someone to talk to.I think it is important that no matter what your gender is to let a student know that you care for them and can meet their needs whether it be a hug, a praise, or more physical play.
Hugs are discouraged at the daycare I work at as well. It has never made sense to me. They seem to only be encouraged if one child hurts another, but discouraged otherwise. I know that with a particular child, their mother has her own reasons to not hug, but the others? It’s a good question to bring up. Would answers such as sharing of germs or the threat of head lice be excuses?
It shouldn’t make sense to you! There is just no good excuse for withholding hugs from children — especially our youngest children.
Each of these chapters were so great. I can still recall the disposition of my son’s first teacher at his daycare center, and “joyous” would be the best way to describe her disposition. She was a young ECE teacher and I am so grateful she was his teacher. Every day we came into his classroom, she greeted us with an excited smile. Her joy was contagious. Her spirit and attitude motivated me to become a childcare provider years later and to create a similarly fun and playful (and, effectively, educational) environment.
As Ms. Pica noted in Chapter 5, according to Frances Carlson, physical contact can be more important to sustaining life than food and water. Ms. Pica also wrote that Dr. Lisa Fiore noted in a discussion with Rae Pica and Frances Carlson from BAM Radio Network, that our “changing society as resulting in ‘people engaging in activities requiring less physical contact every day.'” That trend is problematic where there’ a demonstrated need for physical contact. The comments related to Chapter 5 are so thoughtful and I’m grateful to be participating in this discourse.
It has been researched and proven that children need a stimulating and joyful life. Why has it become that children should be little soldiers forced to stand quietly in lines and sit at desks? Yes there is a time and place for everything and children do need to practice learning how to be serious, but they need to be silly and have fun. That leads to being ready to learn. If we don’t laugh and enjoy this time most will not open up and be able to enjoy learning. Children also need love, which includes comfort and hugs from caregivers. It reminds me of the babies that were being cared for in a sterile environment their basic needs were being met but no human contact was available, these babies then did not thrive and grow. Yes people today are sick and bad things do happen but children need touch and love if you do not give them this they too will not thrive and grow as that need is not being met. People are accepting of women being caregivers but if a man is in child care they are not as receptive, I have seen this first hand as we had 2 male caregivers in a center I worked at.
Kids should be allowed to be kids. That’s the best way to bring out their personalities and get to know them better. children are often held with high expectations like they are robots programed to carry out duties. As we all know, even the best technologies these days fail, so why do must people expect kids to be perfect in everything? The more boring a learning process is to children, the less comprehensive it gets.
I am originally from a country where hugs are a way of comfort, love and just a great way to appreciate one another. So, going from reoccurring situations like sexual abuse, most parents have become more than over protective and I do not blame them. I would too in our current world. As much as we all love our kids and want them to be safe, being over protective may hinder them from exploring and learning in their best possible way. it may also drive fear into their hearts. We should be careful not to have our concerns be too heavy on our little ones.
Chapter 3 about Joy and childhood really spoke to my heart. When observing children as young as 18 months all the way through 5 years old, they wholeheartedly engage in whatever they are doing. Be it imaginative play, building a tower, playing kitchen with a friend, when they are engaged they are doing so completely. One of the pluses of being a family childcare provider is that I can adapt the day based upon the children. I try very hard not to disrupt imaginative play – allowing them to complete their tasks with full focus and joy.
Chapter 5 is another interesting topic in family childcare versus a more formal setting. Children in my care get hugs quite often. We hold hands walking to the play area. I often observe the 3 year olds helping a younger child by giving a hug if that child feels sad. We engage in a practice of giving a hug to a friend if we have taken their toy or hurt their feelings. But I have seen the side of it where boys/ men can be seen differently in a childcare setting. When my son was 16 and my daughter was 2, he was playing on the floor with her when a licensor stopped by. She questioned many times why he was allowed to play with his sister and inferred that I might not want to allow that during my open hours because of the possibility of child abuse by boys and men. I was completely shocked that this was a norm for a conversation because a male was playing with his sibling. Had my older daughter been in the room and playing with her sibling, the question would not have been brought up.
Chapter 5 on touch made me think. We do not have a touch policy at our preschool and I don’t think that we need one. Whenever a child hugs me, of course, I return the hug. I usually initiate contact through a high five or a pat on the back. My staff does the same. Several staff members incorporate affectionate nicknames when greeting the children at the beginning of the day (“Good morning, Emma-bear” for example). I view this as a non-touch way to express love and caring. We also have a male pastor that comes in once a week or so to read with the children (or do other activities). There have been times when children climb in his lap, lean on him, etc… I think it is good to have this male role model present in the program. I believe expressions of caring in the classroom are important as they help build community. They help the child feel that there class is a place where they feels safe, secured, and loved.
Chapter 5 really stuck out in my mind. I am a provider I tried to think of all the / touches I make throughout a normal day. The time a child is not feeling well, when they have accomplished learning a letter or just accomplishing a milestone in potty training. I think of these hugs as being supportive towards them. It is so sad that these pedophiles have robbed this incident act away. I feel it is so important to have a simple thing as a hug in everyone’s life. It brings us closer together with understanding, kindness and peace of mind.
As a childcare provider, I feel it is easier to give the kids hugs and to nurture them like they need and deserve. I let the parents know right away that I will take care of all there needs when they are in my care, that includes hugs and discipline. I feel that an in home childcare provider’s relationship with the parents is a lot closer then a teachers, where the provider is more like family, so I think they are more comfortable with their children being hugged.
Humor is for sure my favourte thing to do in the classroom, I love to make kids laugh, it brings up the positive learning attitude and learning environment. It also makes me like to work in the classroom more, make things easire and lighter someitme when you have a tough day.. We like to teacher kids how to be kind to others, and what’s appropriate and what’s not when it comes to “touch”, we talked aobut personal feeling and personal space and we try to ptractice with them when it happens.
From chapters 3 and 5, I really took heart with chapter 5. It is titled, “When did a hug become a bad thing”. I didn’t realize how much touch can help a child and their development. I also didn’t realize that there are daycare’s and schools that discourage hugging. At my school, We have never had policy against hugging. How can a child get comfort when their parents aren’t there? It should be from their teacher. It builds trust between the teacher and the child. When he or she is having a bad day, a hug can help to stop behavior issues like tantrums or to redirect behavior.
What I took from the two chapters is that today standards in teaching seem to neglect basic human emotions and support. To explain, in the chapter regarding power of joy it touches on the concentration placed on test based teaching and not enough focus on making teaching joyful. I agree this are cause especially young children to be turned off from wanting to learn because there’s no positive energy included. Also it’s sad in today’s society how hugs and other innocent forms of touching are considered unacceptable even though science has shown in can help with child development. Overall the point is strict rules and standards are blocking child development.
As a child care provider I feel like a 2nd mom to these kids. They get very attached to me and vise versa. I can’t imagine questioning hugs! I give them out all day long without even thinking about it. I feel they and other “touches” are necessary to make the kids feel safe and loved.
For this book study this week I really enjoyed and it keeps me interested in the book. I really am enjoying it. For the chapter 3 it really speaks out to me as I was the child with the disability. I had the most difficult time doing things that was easy for everyone else. I have a favorite saying for the book in this chapter which is “Be excited and joyful about the learning that takes place in your classroom. When you’re excited , the children will be excited.” I love that as I am a teacher in the infant room and I can see that in my room as if i am happy and excited my children are. The other one saying that I could not believe was “Dr. William stixrud sums it up quite nicely when he writes. “Stress hormones actually turn off the parts of the brain that allows us to focus attention, understand ideas, commit information to memory and reason critically.” I would have not believed someone until I read this about this. Chapter 5 was just as interesting as well talking about the different guidelines about touching. Like “Don’t create rules that discourage children from touching one another.” This is another one “Don’t discourage rough and tumble play amount young kids.” Sometime children just need that time. I think that it is good for them.
Chapters 3 and 5
I concur that teachers and students are so stressed over how and what to teach along with what happens if these skills are not mastered that they do forget to take pleasure in the small victories. I believe that children should be allowed to work at their own speed because not every child develops at the same speed in all areas. I also agree that we are so scared to hug a child when they need comfort or support that we are neglecting the basic human need of physical touch. Children especially crave physical touch because they use their sense of touch to figure out the world around them. They can feel unwanted, unloved, and unsupported if touch is prohibited which could lead to depression and other mental health issues.
It’s hard to run a daycare and have that fear of touch. I want my parents to feel comfortable and they are allowed to drop by any minute of the day. Hugs are so important in my child’s life. He is so routine about getting his hug, that if he don’t have that hug, he has behaviors or small breakdowns. I see videos of teachers doing high 5’s or special handshakes. That can be so important to the one child who don’t get enough hugs or appropriate touch. This book has opened my eyes to know I’m not alone and I’m so excited to share along of the stuff I read. I love the digits of hugs compared to life. A lot of people need that number to understand how many hugs exactly. I love when my daycare kids come to my house smiling and willing to stay. They ask for the things they love and learn so much faster when they love the things they do!
Physical touch is necessary for children to develop a trusting relationship with a care giver(s). We do live in a society where as professionals we need to be careful of putting ourselves in situations that leave us vulnerable to judgment. I think as a Director of a childcare center, if we have good systems in place, the children and staff are safe to give those necessary hugs and kisses to a owie.
The Power of Joy was a great chapter, I am the assistant director at a play based program and seeing the joy and enthusiasm the children have while they learn/play reinforces one of the goals of our organization: to create the love of life long leaning in the children we care for.
Chapter 5, focusing on physical touch really made me think. We do not have a “no touch” policy…I feel strongly that it goes against why we are in this profession! Appropriate physical touch is so important in building strong attachment bonds between a teacher and a child. Coincidentally there is a situation in my center right now regarding an established family not wanting male teachers to change their daughter’s diapers or help her with toileting tasks. While I can try to understand the thought behind the parent request it’s disheartening that our male teaching staff is being thought of as somehow less or suspect than our female teachers.
How true is this statement? “Joy and enthusiasm are essential for learning to happen”: by Rae. My first memory of school was meeting my Kindergarten teacher and remembering how fun she was. Her voice was so joyful. This is how I want my daycare children to remember daycare. If we add fun and enthusiasm into any topic it will make kids interested. Heck it makes adults interested. I loved chapter 3 because it clarified things I already knew about learning. Children need fun in learning and laughing makes it fun. This test taking after test taking is stressing kids out. If only there was a fun joyful way to test kids. 🙂 In reading chapter 5 I reflected back on my feelings about male teachers. I have to say I was guilty of having uneasy feelings about males and trusting them with my daughter and funny things is…is that I have no real reason why. I need to work on why I feel that way. I know it is important to have both male and female teachers. I think society has played a huge roll in the stereotypes we place on people. Good and bad. I see both sides in the hug or touching issue. This topic was an eye opener. Our children need to be touched and soothed and we are pushing for our infants to self soothe….I thought it was beneficial to the infant but now I wonder if we want kids to start self soothing because we are to busy to sooth the children as much as we should. So much truth to these two chapters.
One thing that struck me in chapter 3 was the recommendation to use humor in the classroom. Looking back the teachers I remember most fondly made me smile and laugh. While I didn’t always excel in those classes I was more likely to put in the effort.
Chapter 5 really hit home for me for two reasons. First, as I read the chapter I was holding my newborn son. Reading that infants spend 60 hours a week in “things” hurt my heart. With my maternity leave ending soon I know that soon my baby will end up spending more time in things rather than being snuggled. Secondly, my husband used to work as an aide in a preschool classroom. Seeing how the children responded to having a man in the room was amazing. They could climb him, wrestle with him, and play more active games with him. The boys responded so well to him and their behavior was more manageable. There were also girls who connected with him, especially ones with no male role models in their lives. Its sad to think that so few children have this kind of interaction because of the paranoia and fear in today’s society.
Bringing joy and laughter in the classroom not only helps kids to be excited and want to learn, it also helps them to learn. With emotions, memories, and songs, the little ones in my care are more able to remember what we are leaning. From social skills to simple skills such as cleaning up to letters and numbers, learning through joy and experience sticks with them.
The lack of touch comes so much from fear and really is unfortunate. Even when signing up for daycare liability insurance their is coverage for the specific purpose of threat of inappropriate touch. Children have different needs and levels of touch to soothe them, to support them and to encourage them. Rather than no touch, we should teach boundaries and communication to give children skills othet than avoidance. My husband interacts with all my daycare children and is my sub. Male role models are so important in non-traditional roles and vice versa for women.
It’s crazy to think that society is coming down to “touch” as a major issue. I grew up and learned to hug everyone! That’s just how you greeted someone. Even in school. I did grow up in a smaller community so that may play a part in it. Now that I have a child in school I can see teachers are not as willing to soothe them in a caring way and I’m sure it’s because of these “rules”. With opening my daycare there’s no way I could go through the day and not hug the children. Or tell them no when they want to sit on my lap for story time. There’s usually an argument over who’s sitting where between them. The parents have brought their children to me to care for and they all know, and welcome, “touch”. All children need it at some point of everyday. I can, though, understand the concern that male teachers would have and as long as there’s nothing to worry about then an encouraging hug can mean the world to a child.
I can’t say enough about how horrible the world has gotten when it comes to the subjects in both of these chapters. Sadly it has become one of those subjects when it comes to the touch between humans that has taken away from children a very important part of growing up and feeling secure with the people in your life. Many of these people are male and unless they have been proven guilty of such an act I believe they should be treated like any woman would be treated and allowed to bond appropriately with the children he has to leave an impact on.
The subject of adding Joy to your day. So true, I love to make the kids laugh. It makes my day to here there cute little giggles and laughs. This is what makes your day fun and helps you to want to come back tomorrow.
I found chapter 5 interesting. I was actually just having a conversation about this with a friend. I really prefer my children to have teachers that are “warm.” I had completely taken it for grated because up until this year my girls have always had very emotionally attentive teachers. My son started preschool at a different school this fall and the teacher just doesn’t seem that “warm” to me- Which has really bothered me. I thought that maybe I was overreacting but this chapter help put into words what I’ve been thinking. I also just had a conversation with my coach about this. Doing daycare there is pressure to incorporate curriculums. I do my own version of this but put more effort into establishing a safe and loving atmosphere for children. As a parent, I’d want my child feel happy, safe and emotionally supported above anything else and that’s where my efforts are directed.
Well this subject is a very hard one for me. I think Men in a childcare can be wonderful, the men that I work with work with schoolaged children and do awesome with them but, as this subject is very sensitive for me with my trust in men, when I was an owner I did judge and had a hard time not being bios when men came to apply. Its not because they were not qualified or not right for the position but just do to personal demons I think in a way I shouldn’t. My mind set of the past has made it hard for me to feel comfortable allowing men in and around children to be able to build the bond that the children should be able to with their teacher.